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Undrowning - Wave 1

This is my first blog on the updated site! I'll be using the new blog to connect with you in a more meaningful way by sharing the stories behind my creations and the general awesomeness of the universe!

This blog is part 1 of 6 as I take you through my Waves Away Series. I created Waves Away 1, Rip Tide On October 30th, 2012.

Wave 1 - Rip Tide

When I created it, this wave represented pain and sadness... and so much loss... loss of control, clarity, vision and direction. In the fall of 2012, tropical storm Sandy was raining down damage on the North East US. I was worried for family & friends in the path of the devastating natural force. A storm was also raging in my heart and mind. I felt broken and out of control. This storm had been brewing for a long time...

See I had survived 16 years of physical, mental, & sexual abuse and I endured my own mother's betrayal. I'm a foster care alumni. In high school I tried, and nearly succeeded, in becoming a suicide statistic. I had married too young trying to 'fix' myself and had been separated from my husband for a while before reaching back through time and connecting with a long time friend. We tried to make it work long distance for a while but in October of 2012 I had just ended that relationship. Despite all I had already survived, you'd think a break up would have been easy... but I was dying inside. It took me a while to realize that my heartache wasn't really because of the failed romances with other people. I wasn't dating myself. I wasn't loving myself.

Now I look at Wave One as a change in direction. It was the beginning of much introspection. I began to work towards self acceptance. I began to turn away from feelings of helplessness and dependence on people or specific ideas for my happiness. I began looking at what I could do to take control of my environment. I began exploring & perfecting drawing techniques I love to use for hair and water textures. I began to undrown.

Blogs for Waves 2-6 coming soon!

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